A School Girl on the Inside

Why is it that i have to come to Oklahoma to learn how desensitized i've become. Continuing an amazing week of God ripping through the walls that i've put up over the past two years, today we talked about Ezekiel 8 and 9. Read it - but be careful, beecause it's pretty prophetic so it may not be real EASY reading.

"Lemme explain . . . no, no . . . there is too much. Let me sum up."

GOD takes Ezekiel and gives him a whirlwind tour of the temple, and shows him all of the crap that people are doing there. None of GODs people seemed to care that: a) people were hurting and, b) that GOD was hurting.

Danielle used this reference to jump into talking about injustice in the world and how we don't care that millions of children die unnessecarily every day, that people are craving drugs more than life, and that GOD's heart is breaking. Why don't i care?

And i've always been pretty soft. i'm the little school girl hidden inside a grown mans body. And that started when i was four years old, when i saw Disney's Pete's Dragon for the first time, and left the Avalon Mall, in St. John's crying to break my heart that the Dragon had to fly away.

Today i wept because there are a lot of hurting people that i haven't cared about.

my favorite thought of the day: knowing GOD's mind just means you can know religion; knowing GOD's heart is something competely different. Anything we do has to come out of our connection with GOD's heart. i can't bring food to a homeless man to show off my super-pressed, ultra-pasteurized new uniform. i need to bring him food because GOD's heart breaks that there is a hungry man. It's ok to be emotional - GOD is emotional: he both created them and experiences them himself.

Alright - so i won't keep every post as deep as they've been . . . maybe. At least i'll take every opportunity to write other stuff too. It's just been a very deep week for me. In fact, it's probably best if i don't make ANY promises about this stuff.