A Newfie Christmas - Day 5

I'm glad I waited . . . originally the answer to the quiz was d) . . . now I'm not so sure. It's not quite cold and frozen tundra yet, but it's getting there. And my cars snow tires are agéd.

I'm SO happy to be home, to see my family (which is twice as big as it was last Christmas), to see people that I haven't seen in forever and ever. It's odd . . . it's probably one of the first times that I've missed home whilst I've been home. As I become more familiar with my home in the United States, I'm becoming increasingly aware of the differences between the two. Perhaps I'll blog about that someday, in more detail, but for now I think I'll just let it sit in my head. I don't really enjoy hearing Canadians who come to the US to work (like, camp, for example) and who bash the US the whole time they're there . . . the same way that I don't enjoy hearing people bad-mouth Canada because America is the "greatest country on the planet". It's all subjective . . . the point is I'm trying to appreciate both for their strengths and weaknesses and realize that no one is perfect.

Sorry, that's too deep . . . I'll try to lighten it up a little next time.

It's almost time for Hot Turkey Sandwiches . . . a wonderful boxing day treat with fries, dressing (dry, bread, stuffing . . . not salad dressing), and gravy. Just another reason why I believe turkey should be declared "Most Phenomenal Food in the Universe!". There' snothing that it can't do!

Grace!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! I hope Santa Claus was good to everyone!

A Newfie Christmas - Day One

Well, we've been in Newfoundland for about 24 hours now. Twelve of that have been spent sleeping. That's the most sleep either of us have had in FOREVER. It was nice. And it's been great hanging out with the family and catching up on things that have been lagging behind.

In honor of our first day in Newfoundland, please complete the following test. It's one question long . . . shouldn't be that much of a strain.

In Newfoundland, it is currently:
a) a frozen tundra of ice, snow, and fauna suited for survivial in arctic condidtions.
b) very, very cold
c) a bowl of almonds
d) pretty much the same as when we left NC.

To heighten the anticipation, I'll leave the answer until tomorrow!

In summary, we're having fun and Tim Horton's is much more profitable than it was just a day ago.

Grace all.

Some Clarification

***Advisory: This, like all my posts, has been written in haste, and was not reviewed prior to posting . . . please forgive any misspelled words . . . and the sarcasm . . . the sarcasm is supposed to be there ;-)

Friends . . . a recent email and a not-so-recent comment has prompted me to file a statement of clarification (i.e. not a retraction). Both have to do with the hot topic of homosexuality and specifically my post earlier in December regarding the United Church of Christ and the Southern Baptist Convention. While y'all are not privy to the complete correspondence I've received on this post I will do my best to clarify some of the more controversial points.

In essence, many comments I've received have used the premise, "If we do it for one, we need to do it for all of them." Specifically, if we let homosexuals into our churches, then we, too, have to allow murderers, etc. Then, if said individuals are in church ANYWAY, why not allow them to have positions of leadership in our church, etc. God WILL turn sinners away from heaven. Those are the basic elements of the debates.

So, let me clarify. I am not condoning homosexuality. I believe the bible when it says that murderers, homosexuals, et al will not enter the kingdom of heaven. I believe the list continues to include gossipers, those who take the Lord's name in vain, alcoholics, pornographers and pornographees, voo-doo priests, un-believers, etc. I fall into at least some of the categories that are listed here in and in Scripture.

I also believe that God knows best for each of us, each of his perfect creations. Just as he called some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be teachers, he also designed us (perfectly, mind you) to be more susceptible to depression, to alcoholism, to schizophrenia, to cancer, to homosexuality, to lying, to cheating, to stealing, to murdering, to staying up late browsing for porn on the internet. He's given us all thorns that keep us humble, I believe, the effects of which are only alleviated when we go to Him for help, for salvation, for grace, and for mercy.

The last paragraph can be read simply, "God made us who we are, good and bad, and has a way for all of us to be saved."

If I had an addiction to alcohol, and you didn't, you could only reach me by first understanding, or attempting to at the very least, the scenario and life-history from which I am coming. If I'm an alcoholic wishing to conquer my sin and you've never been addicted and the best advice you can come up with is "Just stop it." and you don't love me . . . I'm going back to the bottle that never turns me away. If I'm a Christian addicted to pornography and you are not, and you say to me, "What you're doing is wrong!" and kick me out of band or praise team or corps cadets or whatever program, I'll say, "You think I don't know that what I'm doing is wrong? I'm not an idiot. But you know what? I can't stop. I need you're help, you're shoulder, your love, not your words."

If I'm a Christian that has only ever dated those of the same gender, what I don't need is your ridicule, nor do I need words, or hate, or coldness, what I need is to know that I'm welcome to enter into a friendship with you, that you're concerned about my life, my well-being, that you will allow me the freedom to come into your church and you will even allow me to speak to God while I'm there. I don't need your conviction. The Holy Spirit is quite talented enough to handle convicting those who need it. That's why I can say without hesitation that I don't agree with my homosexual friends marriage, as noted in the December 3 comment. But fortunately, it's NOT MY JOB to go to him and convict him of what I have known or interpreted to be true. I don't understand his position because I'm heterosexual. I don't know the ins and outs of his relationship with Christ. I tell him God loves Him. I show him that I love him too. I tell him to continue to seek God's will. To read the scriptures, to meditate on it day and night. I tell him to meet with his husband and pray about it, for hours, to seek the Holy Spirits leading. God handles dealing with their hearts, because I can only communicate with Him in the language of the heart . . . and maybe Kristy . . . but even then I usually need words.

All Christians need to do is preach the gospel. All over the world. Go tell people that God loved them so much that he's provided a way to get to heaven to spend eternity in BLISS and it's a free agreement for WHOMEVER so chooses to take advantage of it. Find a way to get the world to realize THAT.

Finally, I still support the UCC's message. Jesus didn't turn anyone away . . . neither do we. In EVERY church I've ever been a part of we've had people from all walks of life. I've been in congregations with lesbians, with convicted child molesters, with alcoholics. Let me take alcoholics as an example. I'm in the SALVATION ARMY. A huge part of what we do is to help, or attempt to help Alcoholics break their routines, their enslaving addiction and restore them to their families, to productive lives and eventually, hopefully, to reconciliation with Jesus. Now, we spend MILLIONS of dollars to do this. We bus them to our corps. We have many of our corps people that minister at our Adult Rehabilitation Centers. We spend lots of time and money to make this happen. What if THEY wanted to be a leader in the Army or in a church? Lets get the elders of the church together, pray for discernment, commit the matter to Christ in prayer and see what he comes up with. But make sure that we only get the priests, and elders, and deacons that have proven themselves worthy by having well-behaved respectable kids. If your kid is on Ritalin, your prayers don't count.

Church administrators have the responsibility of reviewing each persons "application" to lead a church in whatever capacity they wish to do so. Some people get turned away, for many different reasons. Why do I have a prophet teaching a Sunday school class? Can't we find a teacher to do that? Our praise band leader has no heart for ministry nor musical competence. But she wears a uniform. Having standards in place regarding ones spirituality seems a little odd to me anyway . . . who am I to say you're Christian enough? I masqueraded as "a perfect Christian" for many years. No one caught me. Looking back, doesn't make it right. I don't think I led anyone astray.

So, again, having standards in place makes sense. Not giving people the chance to commune with Christ because outside of the doors of the church they're "evil sinners" is completely ludicrous to me.

13 Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.
14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” 15 When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.

I wonder what he meant by that? All I know is that someone Christ loved tried to get to Him and when the disciples tried to turn them away, Jesus got mad and said not to hinder them. He met with them and then He left.

Grace All.

A New Baby Boy

First of all . . . no. Kristy and I do not have a new baby boy, we are not pregnant, nor are we considering it at this point in time.

That disclaimer aside . . . CONGRATULATIONS to my best man Harvey and his wife Tracy on the birth of their new son (wow . . . that's weird: they have a son!) Caleb William Reid! He was born on December 17th, 2004 in St. John's, Newfoundland.

Yay! (Insert trumpet fanfare here).

Grace vs. Mercy

I drove to Camp Walter Johnson today to pick up some music for a Christmas gig coming up on Thursday morning. It's a little bit more than an hour-long drive X both directions. Altogether I had 3 hours to think (and to listen to NPR between thoughts - I have indeed become a closet National Public Radio junkie).

On the Dianne Rehm show (which I usually don't listen too as Mrs. Rehm sounds agéd and dessicated - old and dried out for those of you who wish to not find a dictionary right now), there was a member of a conservative Christian group (I forget which one) and a representative of the ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union). So, basically, there was a forum between representatives from opposing poles of the political spectrum.

The topics ran the gamut from homosexual marriage, to abortion, to prayer in public schools, etc. The point of all this is that I got to do a lot of thinking about a bunch of different things.

I got thinking about the concepts of grace and mercy. The best explanation I ever heard of the two was as follows: "Mercy is how one DOES NOT get what we DESERVE (i.e. we DON'T get sentenced to hell, even though we deserve it; whereas Grace is how we GET what we DO NOT deserve (i.e. we get blessings upon blessings even though we have meritted them)."

We seem to spend all of our time stuck in grace mode. We're very aware of grace. We REALIZE the significance of grace. We're very thankful for Grace. We're all about grace. We seem to miss the boat on mercy.

I think this is reflected, too, in everyday life. There is A LOT of grace in this world . . . there's not a heck of a lot of mercy, that I can see. Perhaps I'm not looking in the right places.

I think it's probably best explained by thinking about what each involves. For HUMANS to replicate grace is self-serving in a way, and almost fun. Giving people stuff is good for both people. If you buy someone a gift, for example, it's win-win. They get a gift, you get the thanks for getting the gift, and maybe a little popularity. Anybody who buys me a gift is OK in my books. AND, you feel good about yourself too . . . that may be a little trivial . . . but the general idea is the same. The Salvation Army is GRACEFUL at Christmas. No one really DESERVES all of the gifts and assistance that the Army gives (need does not necessarily equal merit), but it gives it nonetheless . . . cause that's what Jesus would do.

Now, mercy on the other hand is more like self-degradation. For us to replicate it, something bad needs to be taken away from someone that deserves something bad to happen to them. Sometime supervisors will step in to "take the blame" for something that an employee did. But, that's the exception rather than the rule. "Let 'em get what's comin' to 'em." Someone would need to step in to take the death penalty suggested for Scott Peterson. That's somewhat more difficult to do. Mercy always involves an abasement of the merciful. It's a double whammy: degradation plus whatever penalty your taking.

Hopefully, I can start looking for ways to be merciful. Jesus took the nails in his hands, and his feet, took a spear to the side, that should have been headed for me. It's easy to be graceful, relatively speaking. Jesus didn't want the "cup taken away" from He was being Graceful. He wanted it taken away because he knew what the results would be if he were merciful.

Hopefully all this makes sense. It's been a "me thinking with my fingers session".

One last quick thought: it seems to me that we'd be a whole lot more in love (endebted to, appreciative, etc) of someone who was merciful (i.e. took away something bad) than someone who was graceful. If we were to fully appreciate God's mercy (i.e. that He gave up his life, when He should have TAKEN ours) how much more would we want to worship Him. How much less would we complain that our roast is at home burning in the oven on a Sunday morning? When given the choice between eating lunch on time or kneeling snotty-faced at the foot of the cross pouring out our love for the SAVIOUR OF THE WORLD, would we still choose lunch?

Grace AND Mercy.

So, I'm a Loser (Or 1992 Revisited)

For a moment . . . I want you to think back with me to the last time that you saw the "loser" sign (i.e. "her finger and thumb in the shape of an 'L' on her forehead" - not necessarily on the forehead . . . but at least the finger and thumb part).

So when was it? 1997? High-School? 90210 re-runs?

Mine was yesterday.

Kristy and I were heading home after church. There's a traffic light at the intersection of Marsh Road (where the church is) and South Boulevard, and immediately to the right is a small strip mall. So the light is Red and I'm getting pretty close to it. There's a grey Honda CRV coming across the parking lot of the mall looing to get out on Marsh Road. At this point I'm not thinking anything weird . . . my intentions are to go up to the stop line on the road and stop . . . because that's what you do at a stop light.

Now the chick in the CRV is obviously thinking something different. As I'm getting closer and closer to the light, she decides to start nosing out in front of me. Now I'm thinking, "What are you doing?" and "You can't go anywhere because the light is red."

And, of course, I hadn't anticipated her nose sticking out in the road so I didn't alter my speed to compensate. Long story short, I didn't let her out in front of me. Not that I was mean. She just didn't give me enough notice that she wanted to get out.

So as I pass she waves her arms in disgust at me, I notice from the corner of my eye. She pulls out behind me, and I look back just in time to see her give me the "L" . . . I mean THE "L".

The LOSER sign . . . what is that? Are you stuck in the 90s?

That's just incredible to me. I mean if you're ticked off that I didn't give you the privilege of getting to the red light before me, give me the finger or something . . . but the loser sign . . . what the . . . ? It just made me laugh. It made me WANT to not let people out to see what other signs I'd get.

Then I got thinking . . . how did all these hand gestures become offensive. People are weird, man. Like what is it, and WHY is it that brushing your chin, towards someone, is a bad thing. Or your middle finger . . . that's just hilarious to me.

A guy gets "flipped the bird" a hundred years ago . . . and says "WHAT . . . I WOULD'VE TAKEN ANY FINGER BUT NOT THAT MIDDLE ONE. YOU'RE INDEX FINGER? FINE. YOUR PINKY? I'M INDIFFERENT TO THAT PARTICULAR FINGER. BUT YOUR MIDDLE FINGER! THAT'S JUST . . . THAT'S . . . I'M BEATIN' YOU DOWN PUNK!"

How in the world did a simple finger become SO freakin' hilariously offensive . . . to the point that the FCC censors it out on television shows? It cracks me up. But I think about stuff like that a lot. Like a lot of the offensive words that we consider offensive . . . like why is saying 'crap' acceptable but not another word that means the same thing?

Anyway . . . as you can see sometimes my brain functions on a pretty shallow level!

Grace.

Someone Already Said It

Interestingly enough . . . the entirely of my last entry can be summed up in these words, already spoken by someone who came before me:

"The old law of an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind."
MLK, Jr.

Grace.

Survival of the most fittest.

I've been thinking a little more about my post from yesterday . . . about holding grudges, etc. Lend me your eyes . . . and your brain . . . at least the parts that involve visual cognition and reading comprehension. Often, it seems as though we have made life into a series of subconsiousness-engaging competitions. I.E. we want to prove that either:

• we are better than someone else; or
• someone else is worse than us

Examples . . . 1) On our way to work this morning, Kristy and I were discussing this very point. I was in the furthest left lane behind one vehicle and with some open space behind me. A guy was approaching me, pretty quickly, from behind . . . catching up to the traffic, kind of scenario. I'm about to get off at my exit, so I'm looking for an opening to start changing lanes, realizing that I have about one mile to do this. So I get over and guy flips me off and honks his horn at me. I still can't figure out what I did that ticked him off . . . and I've been trying. Just seems like he was in a hurry and I was the closest thing he had to blame for keeping him from getting to his destination on time. So he had to make me feel bad, so he could feel superior. It wasn't that he was late leaving, it was that traffic (i.e. me) was holding him up.

2) This blog (or any blog, really . . . see, I did it again: I had to make sure that I said that I'm not the only example of this . . . I had to at least level the playing field). Blogs, I realized with the help of my lovely wife, are very ego-centric. I get to write all I want about me, and demand that you read and comment on it, and you don't get to interupt me . . . I want to tell you about me and my life and what I can do because, gosh darn it, I KNOW that you really care about what I'm thinking: I'm just THAT important.

3) Church (aka Hatfields vs. McCoys): 'nuff said.

Competition isn't a bad thing . . . in general . . . I guess. Cooperation isn't either. A simple realization that we're not the central figure in this place we call the universe is also a fairly decent view to adopt.

Imagine what a difference it would make if we tried to prove to someone else that they are better than us . . . I wonder how long it would be before I blog that we don't focus enough of our attention inward.

Grace.

Pity Postings

7 comments . . . nice!

I'll take pity comments any day of the week. I was having comment withdrawal . . . I wasn't sure how to deal with it.

It's a little odd knowing that people read about each others' lives. Maybe even moreso, it's odd that people post a diary of their lives on the internet for all to see and comment upon. And yet even moreso, it's odd that people enjoy having their lives and experiences commented on by others, either friend or foe.

But I do . . . I'm freakin' addicted. I think it's the attention that I like, though I'm not sure. I've been on a bit of a keeping in touch thing lately . . . more like a renewing connections lost with people over the years, be they camp staff friends, or just relationships that I've let proverbially fall by the proverbial wayside.

I've also been realizing that many of my postings come from my morning experiences. Which is odd because Kristy and I are generally lazy in the morning, which means we get up dangerously close to the time when we should be leaving for work, which means that I really have very little time to experience anything . . . apart from coffee and the today show.

In short, randomness is fun.

My calendar today says Wednesday, December 8. Chanukah. Underneath this it gives me the five steps to performing an absolute emergency tracheotomy (I have a "Worst Case Scenario" desk calendar). So, you can feel safe about hiking with me, as I know how to open your trachea to the outside world should it ever need to be.

It's also the anniversary of the US' declaration of war against Japan. Today, we drive their cars and play their video games. We've let by-gones be by-gones (I think this is the first time in the history of me that I've actually written that). It's amazing how people and/or countries can forgive mass slaughter but we have a hard time with things that supposedly are much less harsh. Foriveness, eh?

Grace.

Comments?

No one leaves any comments on my blog anymore . . . *whimper*

Steve Maroni

You know what really gets me? When people think I'm stupid because they made a mistake.

Here's the transcript of a phone call that I received today, to illustrate my point.

Caller: Steve?

Desmond: (Politely) No, I'm sorry. You must have the wrong number.

Caller: (Somewhat disgusted) Steven Maroni?

Desmond: (equally as disgusted). NO, YOU must have the WRONG number.

*Click*

Ok . . . so not a big deal, right? Did he think I was confused because he used a shortened version of some guys name? Did he think by elongating the name that I would suddenly realize that by "Steve" he meant "Steven Maroni"? Could it possibly have been that HE made the mistake instead of having to try to put the blame on me.

AND it's not the first time this situation has happened to me. About once a month someone will call with the wrong number and imply that I'm either an idiot or witholding information.

Some people . . . sheesh.

Peace

there's a place that i know where the sycamores grow
and daffodils have their fun
where the cares of the day seems to slowly fade away
and the glow of the evening sun
peace when the day is done

if i go there real late,
let my mind meditate on everything to be done
if i search deep inside, let my conscience be my guide
then the answers are sure to come
don't have to worry none
when you find a piece of mind
leave you worries behind
don't say that it can't be done
with a new point of view
life's true meaning comes to you
and the freedom you seek is won

peace is for everyone peace is for everyone
peace is for everyone

Norah Jones

Letters to Santa

Santa Claus is a huge part of Christmas traditions . . . with that, I agree. I love Santa, but at some point it goes over a line of decency. Today, I learned that this year Americans will spend approximately $185,000.00 in postage for letters to Santa. That works out to be about 500,000 letters. Now, that's not included the people who are more technologically advanced and submit letters to Santa via the internet.

Now . . . lets say that each person who mailed a letter to Santa also donated the price of a stamp to feed orphans in famine-ravaged regions of Africa. Or lets say that the US postal service simply contributed this amount to some humanitarian aid fund.

We're a little messed up. We talk about peace on earth and goodwill to all men but this Christmas thousands and thousands of people will die because we didn't do anything for them, when we can.

I pray this Christmas we'll all do a little something to help someone who needs it. And not for us . . . for them. Just for them. For no other reason than they need something that we have.

Even if it's just $0.37.

Grace.

My Contentment

I'm sitting down in my living room, with The Today Show showing me all the important news that I need to worry about. I'm sipping my vanilla cream coffee. My wife is still sleeping. I love her. I'm watching birds eat the seed from my balcony-mounted bird feeder. There are some finches and a little red cardinal. I'll have to clean up the seed shells later.

But I'm pretty content.

United Church of Christ vs. Southern Baptist Convention

So I'm watching Good Morning America yesterday to see the XXXChurch people. I didn't see them. I don't even know if they were on. It's usually the today show that I watch, so that I was watching Diane Sawyer and crew was odd.

Anywho, about 7:30 or so Diane shows a commercial from the United Church of Christ. It shows a church set-up like a night-club, focusing especially on the bouncer. Different individuals and groups approach the 'velvet rope' (<- Simpsons Fans: Remember this?) and are either allowed in or turned away. It's an interesting concept . . . . it looks like a bunch of normal middle-class American families that are going to church. Now, its especialy more interesting as you see that the people that are turned away are homosexuals and various other people that aren't accepted in the church as being normal. There are only a few words that are flashed up on the screen. They are, "Jesus never turned anyone away." . . . "Neither do we." . . . "The United Church of Christ."

Diane also had some other guests on as well: the communication director for the United Church of Christ, and a Southern Baptists Seminary Professor. A very intereting debate ensued. The Baptist representative basically tore the commercial apart, saying that, "the commercial is in direct opposition of Christian values." He went on to say how in their Baptist congregation, they're all sinners but they're saved by grace; that no matter what people have done, the grace of God saves them all. In the same breath, he condemned homosexuality (which I agree with in principle) and said to accept them into church was unchristian.

The UCC member, however painted a very different picture. He basically said that all are welcome, they the UCC tries to understand the situations people come from, and would invite all to their churches where, at the very least, they can hear the gospel. Perhaps some of them don't realize the Bible's stand on homosexuality (granted, I think the vast majority of Christians don't understand the Bible's stand on homosexuality) or any number of other sins.

I get so SICK of hearing about stuff like this. Churches are dying. Americans are continually falling away from God. And we spend our time arguing whether a particular type and/or class of people are allowed in Church. Personally, I applaud the UCC. Granted, most of the major networks have refused to air the shot due to the controversy. But I like the stand. It's in your face. It's a slap to the other churches in the country. Homosexuals have souls too.

XXXChurch

I forgot to tell you about this.

http://www.xxxchurch.com is a very cool site. Post-Modern Chrisitan Anti-Porn type site. It really is safe. You can go check it out and it won't leave any weird viruses or anything on your computer. But if you or someone you know struggles with Pornography like so many people have and do, it's an amazing resource. I don't work for them, despite how this paragraph reads.

Anywho . . . so whilst at youth specialties in Atlanta, they had a pre-screening of a documentary that they're doing about their work. They're two pastors from California who just have this vision to minister to those enslaved by porn. They started with a lot of backlash from traditional churches, etc, but it's amazing to see what they've done. They show up at the porn conventions and market themselves as the #1 Christian Porn site. They've had porn directors donate time and equipment to their cause because of the positive work they're doing. Very interesting stuff.

So anyway, all that to say, that the two guys are going to be on Good Morning America on Thursday morning. It'd be great for y'all to see. They're pretty cool guys. Or, at least from what I can tell from sitting in a session led by them.

That's it. Check it out.

Grace.

Oooooh, my shrinking telomeres!

Hopefully your telomeres are not prematurely shrinking. If you're stressed however, they may be doing just that. Telomeres are little protein caps that are on the end of Chromosomes. They shrink with age. Scientists have now figured out that people under a lot of stress have smaller than normal telomeres.

So if you hear me say "Ooooh, my shrinking telomeres!", you know I'm not having a good day.

But I am . . . not to worry.

Merry December 1st, by the way.

It's a good day. This is our annual employee Christmas party week. Never a plesant experience for me. I generally am overworked, and end up making a fool of myself for the merriment of others. So, in reality, every week is an annual employee Christmas party week, in my world. Today we spent rehearsing a bunch of stuff . . . not the least of which were some arrangements of various Christmas songs that I've done for our "blues band". Granted, they stink. Not the people. The arrangements.

I've got a great song . . . that I think comes from the soundtrack of the latest Julie Roberts flick. It's The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice. Not sure what a blower is or why he/she would have a daughter . . . if you can shed any light, please do.

What I love about it . . . the chorus simply says, "I can't take my eyes off of you." It unsimply says more though. Damien (since I know him so well) sounds so COMPLETELY desparate. Made me think of Kristy. I love her a lot. Fitting . . . to love your wife. I could sing that to her all day, every day, for the rest of our lives. You really do need to hear it. It's on all the online services (napster, itunes, etc).

Then I realized how much Damien and Kristy have taught me about loving God, without either of them intending to. I wish I could as desparately sing "I can't take my eyes off of you" to Jesus Christ, the saviour of my life and master of the universe as I can sing it to Kristy. I should be able to. AND I should be able to sing it over and over and over, and mean it.

That's all I've got for today. It's been a while